Real Chiefs

     Submitted 8/18/99 by Steve Fisher, RD2, 1961-1962


Real Chief's are the backbone of the Navy. Do you know one? Use the characteristic identifiers below to find out...

REAL CHIEFS: Are the only people that can make the salutation 'Ensign' sound like a four letter word.

REAL CHIEFS: Think that Ensigns should be seen and not heard, and never, ever, be allowed to read books on leadership.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't eat quiche, they can't even pronounce it.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't have any civilian clothes.

REAL CHIEFS: Have CPO Association Cards from their last 5 commands.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't remember any time they weren't Chief's.

REAL CHIEFS: Have a coffee pot next to their desk with a tube     running from it to their arms.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't write in script, except for their paycheck signature.

REAL CHIEFS: Propose like this: "There will be a wedding at 1000 hours on 29 October, be there in whites with your gear packed because you will be a prime participant."

REAL CHIEFS: Favorite holiday is CPO Initiation.

REAL CHIEFS: Keeps four sets of dress khaki uniforms in the closet in hopes they will come back.

REAL CHIEFS: Favorite food is shipboard SOS for breakfast.

REAL CHIEFS: Wish KP was still a Navy Tradition, 'cause they don't have to pull it.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't know how to tell civilian time.

REAL CHIEFS: Call each other "Chief."

REAL CHIEFS: Greatest fear is signing for property book items.

REAL CHIEFS: Dream in Navy Blue, White, Haze Gray and occasional   khaki thrown in for good measure.

REAL CHIEFS: Have served on ships that are now war memorials or Tourist attractions.

REAL CHIEFS: Have the heart of a little boy, kept in a jar on desk.

REAL CHIEFS: Call their spouses WIFELANT or CINCFAM.

REAL CHIEFS: Have tattoos and are carefully tanned.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't like Certified Navy Twill. "Wash Khaki" is the only *&$#?@ thing to make a uniform out of.

REAL CHIEFS: Can find their way to the CPO Club blindfolded, on 15 different Navy Bases.

REAL CHIEFS: Have pictures of ships in their wallets instead of their wife and kids.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't own any pens that do not have "Property U.S.Govt." on them.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't voluntarily get the mandatory flu shots.

REAL CHIEF'S: Don't order supplies, they swap for them.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't drink. At least, not since the invention of the funnel.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't curse like Bosun Mates. Bosun's curse like REAL Chief's.

REAL CHIEFS: Can name 15 bars in Hong Kong, but know that the best bars are across the bay in Kowloon.

REAL CHIEFS: Are at sea when their kids are born.

REAL CHIEFS: Think that a 7 course meal, is a baked potato and a 6 Pack of beer.

REAL CHIEFS: Think excessive modesty is their only fault.

REAL CHIEFS: Hate to write evaluations, except for their own.

REAL CHIEFS: Turn in a 4 page brag sheet for their evaluation.

REAL CHIEFS: Last ship was always better.

REAL CHIEFS: Don't make coffee.

REAL CHIEFS: Know that the black tar in their coffee cup makes the coffee taste better.

REAL CHIEFS: Idea of heaven: Three good PO1's and a Division Officer Who does what he is told.

REAL CHIEFS: Think John Wayne would have made a good Chief, if he had not gone soft and made Marine movies.

REAL CHIEFS: Are hated by Supply Officers, who have to take inventory after the Chief pays a social call.

REAL CHIEFS: Use the term "Good Training" to describe any unpleasant task...Scraping the sides of the ship is "Good Training." Spending the night drinking and getting sick the next day is "Good Training." Having to sleep on your seabag in the parking lot because there was no room in the barracks is "Good Training."

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